The Power of Vulnerability

Each time I watch Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability something new is revealed.  Perhaps it is the process of wanting to become more vulnerable that there are new “ah ha’s” with each viewing.  Or, maybe there is an underlying searching for, and concentrating on, wisdom that was not apparent before.  Regardless, Dr. Brown’s message is chocked full of ideas placed in the context of personal insights that she has come to understand over the years through discomfort, therapy, research, writing and thinking, or a combination of all of these.  Her path to vulnerability indicates that it takes time, painful change, patience, and it’s not easy.   I love her message and it creates a calming approach and encouragement to keep working towards becoming a vulnerable leader.

It isn’t easy to be vulnerable: both our best and worst sides show up.  Sometimes we, as the “emperor” “have no clothes”.  Or, we are questioned or question ourselves whether we are just “making it up” as we proceed along paths that may not yet have definition.  But, we should give ourselves permission to be vulnerable and not have to be perfect because, as one person once said, there is ultimately a “perfectionist’s script for self-defeat”.  For me, vulnerability means trying out a new behavior, which may not initially have any “there, there”, only hoping and trusting change will work out.  Often, it was easier to take “leaps of faith” when a bit younger, whether towards a new job, moving across the country, love, marriage, parenthood.  Now, those vulnerable leaps are a bit more calculated and considered because they impact more than just me.  

Dr. Brown’s view is the antithesis of a controlling leader who is constantly micro managing and guiding with a firm, entrenched heavy hand that never waivers, is loud or wryly manipulative, and always right.  None of these styles allow individuals to grow in competency, or enjoy and learn from the process of work.  The lack of vulnerability in a leader does not engender vulnerability, or as Brown states, “an opportunity for growth” among those who are led.  The ability of a leader to be vulnerable tempers the path to success or failure or somewhere in between with permission to attenuate perfection so that individuals can grow in knowledge, skills and a basic love of the job.  Leadership vulnerability based on that leader’s sense of worthiness, as Dr. Brown describes, offers a healthier and less stressful understanding of work-related options to be employed by the willing participation of the whole team.  Vulnerability creates a team where everyone is honored for their efforts, which may not be perfect the first time.   The need to live with ambiguity is constant within all organizations; the vulnerable leader enables a quality of work life where that is possible.